Humor

Last week, before heading next door for eight hours of interviewing candidates, I was hanging out at a local Panera Bread sipping some fine coffee and taking advantage of their free WiFi – skimming the news and doing some work.

Coffee, of course, causes one to eventually have to visit the facilities. So I wandered down the hall and took my place at the urinal.

After a moment, an older man came in who appeared to be in his seventies. He was wearing a ballcap.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice that prior to approaching the urinal he removed his ballcap. He did his business – and then after stepping back from the urinal (I was now washing my hands) he placed his cap back on.

He must have noticed me looking at him rather oddly – after all, who removes their ballcap in this day and age inside a restroom – so he turns to me and says, “You gotta respect the cock”. And then he walks out.

I haven’t laughed so hard for weeks.

This woman and her husband have this really bad fight. He goes off to work the next day without talking to her, but she doesn’t care.

She’s busy doing her thing around the house. All of the sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a young delivery guy from the local florist shop with an enormous, beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed red roses…the expensive ones…from her husband.

She says to the delivery guy with disgust, “Oh CRAP!”

The delivery guy says, “What’s a matter lady? You don’t like roses?”

She replies, “Yeah, I like roses, but do you know what this means?”

He says, “No, Lady, what does this mean?”

She answers, “It means for the next two weeks I’ll be laying on my back with my legs in the air.”

He replies, “Geez, Lady, don’t you have a vase?”